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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290638">Simulation theory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeNess/pseuds/BeeNess'>BeeNess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Benry lost his powers, Childhood Friends, Depressed/anxious Gordon, Everything was a game but felt real, Existential Crisis, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Game(s), Temporary Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:01:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeNess/pseuds/BeeNess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Games end, as they tend to do at some point. Content runs out and you shut the game off.<br/>What if it didn't end there?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Coomer/Bubby, Frenrey - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Game credits isn't the end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had to end at some point. That he knew. Games tend to do that, you can only play them for so long before the content runs out and you move on. He had to admit that what happened wasn’t exactly normal.They knew his name, probably from his ‘computers name’. Games really didn’t do that anymore but he loved those kinds of quirks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon sighed as he slipped off his headset. Everything in that game felt so real, it didn’t make sense. The pain, the taste of soda and the tightest of hugs felt real. Even now his arm felt the slightest bit numb. He had probably played for too long, that was all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewing on his bottom lip for a moment, he kept thinking about the message from Doctor Coomer. Put them on a spare floppy disk or something like that. Fucking shit made him cry. This just hit a little too close to home. How quiet his apartment was, nothing but the sound of a car rarely passing by and his own breathing. The silence was deafening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he could figure out how to port them over to something else, like Half Life two. At least once he had read up on tutorials on how to mod games or asked a few forums for help.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Already now, he knew he couldn’t just restart the save file and do it all again. He just couldn’t. It wouldn’t be the same a second or third time. The thing about the first time was that.. you only got it once. Obviously.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Deep breaths, it was just a game. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four and exhale on four. That he did remember, breath properly and calm down. Gordon turned off the vr headset and put it on his desk, staring it down for a moment before he left to take a much needed warm shower. Out with the ponytail, off with his glasses and time to relax for an hour or two.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After that, he saw how late it was,almost 3am and he needed to sleep. He didn’t bother with much else than boxers and flopped into bed. The room was cool, perfect temperature to snuggle right under the covers. Never noticing that he had left his computer on, that one being in his office and away from his bedroom. Later he would know that it was possibly the best thing he could have done.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Static was coming from the computer, the smell of smoke came from the tower as the screen lit up the room. The headphones were destroyed and some cords were definitely fried. If Gordon had been in the room, he might have unplugged all of it. Who wouldn’t in a situation like this? Despite the smoke, the screen was distorted, seemingly going through files until it found the .exe file for Half Life vr. Ablue screen appeared and an almost sickly blue hand slowly appeared on the screen. The palm pressed against the glass, a little more firm before going through it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost as if the screen was made of a thick substance like Jello, another hand made it through.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>A small grunt was made as they found the edge of the desk and with the new anchor, managed to get themselves free. Not that it was a glorious landing as the single person smacked right into the chair. They were now basically hugging the chair, his knees on the floor, he finally got a first look at where he was. This.. wasn’t the familiar place he was used to whenever the game would end. All of them would usually just wait in a black void until a new player would start it up and.. yeah. This was different. He corrected his helmet as he got up on his feet, a toothy grin coming across his face. This must be where the Players would appear from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The smile faded as he slowly came to realize, he was the only one here. Surely he could help the others out, for now though, he wanted to find Mr.Feetman. Heh, that surely would piss him off. Then again, he had him beaten up, almost murdered him a few times. Wasn’t his fault, he forced him to be bad. The game, the player, all of that, he couldn’t stop it. The code forced him to do it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t matter right now. They had to take a look around and see if he was alone or not.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>It was a small place, it didn’t exactly take him long to find out where the other was. It was no surprise to him that they were sleeping. His bro seemed to love sleeping, and it wasn't exactly easy to move them around. Well, in the game. Benry took notice of the room, pretty cold, not many extra items than bed, desk and closet. It did make them wonder how he ended up here. Why now, why was Gordon so special, why was the stupid-nerd face annoying him so much?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe annoying was a strong word, his face was still stupid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Just as he tried to hover, like he would always do, he almost fell over. “What?” they whispered. The noise seemed to have stirred Mr.Freeman and Benry quickly hid under the desk. Watching them roll over in their bed, slowly crawling out. He tilted his head a little to try and see them better as he tugged the chair in. Heh, this was pretty nice. Stealth level 54, hell yeah.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was going to be perfect, just wait for the right moment, appear behind him and ask him about his passport. After all, that was his weakness. One could hope he would finally get it so they could let him through properly!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite not being that well hidden, it was clear he wasn't seen when Gordon passed by, heading out to the small bathroom before he stopped in his tracks as he heard the others voice, "stop thinking about him and his damn passports. You need some fucking sleep." That made him sit up and almost hit his head against the desk. Gordon was thinking about him. The sharp canine teeth were visible and even they had to put a hand over their mouth to stop themselves from making any black mesa sweet voice</span>
  <span>tm</span>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't really listen as Gordon grumbled some more and splashed water on his face. He did hear him come into the room again and tug his legs in, the guy really couldn't see without glasses? Urgh, he should have stolen his glasses, then maybe he could have avoided that big battle and everything. Also just to tease him about it, just a small bit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't even realize how long he had been sitting when he heard snoring once more, it got him out of his train of thoughts. Ah. He didn't get to scare him. Benry got out of his little hide and sat on the desk with his feet on the chair. This new world wasn't what he had imagined, he couldn’t just clip up on the desk, it was all sort of a process, not one he was fond of. That and now looking at his hands, they were definitely in HD and he could separate his fingers. That was sick, in a cool way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The new discovery had him look at himself more properly, the way fabric was moving, he found out he could take off the Black Mesa security vest! That was way more comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It dawned on him, in game there was only so much he could do, now he had the freedom to touch the Freeman. He got down from the desk and quietly walked next to the bed. Benry took their sweet time watching Gordon, watching how the chest moved while they breathed. The urge to touch the hair or the beard was too strong for him. “Yooo,” he whispered as his hand dipped into the loose curls. It wasn’t painful, rather soft and uh.. not dripping wet but rather lightly wet. Damp, that was the word. Of course they were distracted by this, so they didn’t notice that the guy was waking up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmh, what?” Gordon mumbled, he felt something cold combing through his hair. For a moment he didn’t realize what was going on. Just thought that he was dreaming, a very vivid dream. When he rubbed his eyes and opened them up, “the fuck, Benry?” he said as he quickly sat up on his bed. The blanket thankfully following him up as he made sure to cover up</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand that was previously in his hair was pulled away and as he looked at the blurry frame, he was certain that it was Benry. It certainly reminded him of the fucking twat. Finally finding his glasses that had been beside his pillow and looked up. Was he still fucking dreaming, no wait, he wouldn’t need his glasses if he was dreaming. This had to be real, oh no.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Talk over soda</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Benry is here and they are not going anywhere</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon had to take a few moments to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom, looking at the clock, it was almost 8am. Why was he not freaking out? This supposed game character was standing right here in his room, after he defeated them in game. Touching his own face, yep, definitely was not somehow still wearing his VR headset.<br/>, he almost wanted to laugh that he even tried that when he’d just put his glasses on.<br/>Okay he was a little slow when it came to waking up but in front of him was definitely Benry. Who.. Was just kind of staring at him. "How, why are you here?" He asked, dragging out the first word considerably longer. How was one thing, the why should definitely worry him more. Within the game universe, Benry should be dead. He didn't restart the game or anything of the sort so technically, he shouldn't be alive. Then again, Benry is a fucking video game character who doesn't-shouldn't exist.<br/>After a moment's pause, he sighed as it was obvious that some things didn’t change.They were lost in thought and right now, he did not have the patience for it. “Benry,” Gordon began,”please tell me you are some sort of hallucination from my lack of sleep.”</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Benry couldn’t  help as he kept looking at the man. Scruffy beard, stiff shoulders, didn’t look as comfortable as he was used to. Their eyes shifted as they heard their name and turned to actually look at ‘Feetman’s face. He opened his mouth and closed it again. That was a thing he would like to know too. “No, I don’t have that feature. Unless that’s new.” The guard spun around and planted themselves on the bed. A hand reached up, he scratched underneath his chin momentarily to think. “New features just kind of pop up, bro,” he said with a shrug, as if it didn’t bother him.<br/>Okay, it did bother him a little. Sure there had been a lot of players throughout the years. The thing was, no one had bothered to continue that far into the game. Not when he started to.. stop following the script. Go all rogue and do his own thing, though within limits. Limits he had a tendency to slowly edge over each time.</p>
<p>First it was him, then it was Tommy. It began with him dragging the player to the break room to read the jpeg looking billboards and following them. They ended up talking a lot between restarts. Real mvp when he needed it.<br/>Then came Coomer who would pop up as a sort of tutorial guy, who ended up KO’ing quite a few players with his love for bomb crates. Fun ol’ man, not sure if he remembered the different resets. Always knew Bubby but otherwise, not so much.<br/>Bubby first changed when a random player freed him mid-game. After that, he just appeared in the beginning. Supposed he was just interested in talking with Coomer.<br/>Ngl, he wanted to see if Gordon had a playstation ™.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>That was definitely his all time favorite guard. Still a jackass with as much gamer talk. Sure he was a gamer himself, but actually talking like how people think gamers talk wasn't endearing, he was not going to indulge it even if he did like it, which he didn’t. “How about, you go to the kitchen and I’ll be with you in a few?”<br/>For some reason, Benry actually listened to him. First time for everything. Yeah, he was going crazy. The fact he felt when the other sat down and got up again, that was weight being moved around, which wasn’t his own. That was a person, that was Benry. He must be going crazy. Not to sound like he was trying to quote ToyStory, Benry is a videogame character. Not human, a jumble of code and nothing else. There was no way the other was just in his bedroom, touching his hair while he was sleeping? Honestly that did sound like a thing they would do.</p>
<p>Okay, breath. Remember to breathe.</p>
<p>Gordon got out of his bed and into the bathroom to find something to wear. He ended up with a loose hoodie and sweatpants, just something warm and comfortable. His head had a hard time wrapping around whatever was going on. Looking in the mirror properly for the first time, he noticed a cut through his eyebrow and lip. His eyes weren’t green as he remembered them to be. Nah nah nah, this wasn’t happening. Whatever this was, he was sure it had something to do with that game and.. the  person in his apartment.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Benry had to say that ‘Feetman really didn’t live like he expected him to. Sure the place was small, looking out the window, it was a fairly quiet looking street. Curious to figure out a little more, he found the kitchen and touched the wooden counter. Cold. The outside of the fridge, a little warm. Such things as temperature were not something he ever got to experience. Even drinking soda didn’t feel like anything. As much as this temporary downgrade didn’t let him clip into things, this was strangely rewarding.<br/>This all was strange, though they liked this strangeness.</p>
<p>“Nice,” he murmured when Gordon walked in. That sigh and small grin did tell them that he liked the comment. That was something they loved to do, make him laugh, smile and that small shake of the head when he tried to ignore them. That fueled their playful nature.</p>
<p>“Do you want some coffee, water.. soda?” Gordon asked.</p>
<p>“Some gamer fuel would be pog,” he returned. Putting his hands on the counter, he climbed up on the counter to sit and squinted when the light was flicked on. Huh. That was new too, first time the light had kind of hurt. This might be the sort that Gordon went through, he was not a fan of it. The dark was much easier on the eyes.<br/>Given a soda, he tried to sip it immediately. Though it wasn’t consumed, nor did he get any hp from it. The laugh made him look up and the other took the soda, pushed a metal tab and returned the soda to him. Looking down the new hole there now was, he tried again. Making a sip noise and tipped the can a little, he got it now. His body instinctively swallowed down and he stopped almost immediately. “Holy shit,” he whispered. That was completely different from how it was in the game, it tasted sweet and bubbly. Leaning his head back, he slurped every drop from the can.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“Jesus Christ, slow down. You’re going to end up with hiccups at that speed,” Gordon laughed, trying to look serious about what was happening.<br/>Benry finished up the whole can in that manner and set it on the counter. It felt rather obvious that the other didn’t seem to have any ill intent towards him. For now at least. They seemed confused over the can, okay, generally everything. Touching the counter and looking around like his apartment was the most interesting thing in the world.</p>
<p>Opening his own can and taking a sip of it, he wasn’t sure how he should approach this. Benry could easily have killed him in his sleep, but he didn’t. They seemed harmless right now. Then again, they had seemed harmless before. As harmless as a npc could be, who did almost shoot him a few times and burn headcrabs. Okay, Benry was always rather odd, even when he met them for the first time. Supposed that the other being different was what he enjoyed.<br/>“Now.. Benry, please just tell me what you are doing here.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Gordon could feel his eyes narrow a little. “What do you mean you don’t know? What happened before you got in?”</p>
<p>“Bro, you are the first who got through the game after it got all wacky. You were not supposed to win,” Benry said and a finger moved around the top of the can as he spoke as calmly as ever. The fact they had a small distraction by touching the can seemed to.. keep them more focused.</p>
<p>“I know I am asking a bit much right now, what do you mean I wasn’t supposed to win?” It didn’t make sense to him. None of it did and here the other seemed like everything was fine and dandy. “It's a game, that's the whole point of it.”<br/>He watched them shake their head, “What?”</p>
<p>“Not this one. Everything went all weird when you won. I tried to stop you and you kept going, bro. That kinda hurts, y'know.”</p>
<p>Gordon pressed his lips together for a moment, "I wasn't supposed to win. You tried to get me to stop playing throughout and.. because I won, you're here?" It should be easy to wrap his head around, yet he still felt like he wanted to know more. Some sort of grasp of reality that makes sense. This just confused him and honestly was giving him a headache at this point.<br/>"Wait so.. what would have happened if I lost?"</p>
<p>Benry's blue eyes almost flashed a yellow, turned to look at him for once. "Bro. You don't have the credentials for that information." Gordon could pick up a sort of worried tone, he was sure of it but decided to not comment on it. Taking the warning of a what if situation was more than enough.<br/>There were so many questions he wanted to ask and yet he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get much more out of the other. He was not going to push his luck and leave it at that. “Alright, “ he murmured, unsure of what to do about the situation. He couldn’t just suddenly have Benry just, be here. Well, he did have the financial stability to have a roommate without too much of a problem. He had to face it, if this was actually happening, surely Benry didn’t have anywhere else and-</p>
<p>Oh god they were doing that sweet voice thing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you guys so much for all of the lovely feedback. I appreciate all of ya, it really fuels me to write more!! If you want to see a drawn version of my Benry and Gordon, my twitter is Beeness3</p>
<p>and again, so many thank you's to my beta reader unbridled trash!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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